Looking Forward

It’s all over. College, I mean. Sure, convocation isn’t for another few weeks, but as far as classes and placement are concerned, I’m all done. It all feels very anti-climatic. Here I am, at the tail end of four years of post-secondary education, and all I feel is panic. Okay, maybe not panic. That might be giving this feeling a little bit too much credit. Bewilderment, perhaps?

It dawned on me recently that this is the first time in my life that all options are open. Everything up to this point has been “the next step”. Elementary school turned into high school, which turned into two years of college, which turned into two more years of college. So, three diplomas later, I’m at a point where I can truly decide where my life goes from here. It’s all up to me. It’s an odd feeling, and I’ve spent the last two weeks trying to come to grips with it.

It’s not that I’m afraid of screwing it up, although I am a little. I guess I just don’t want to waste the opportunity. I don’t want to wake up one day to find myself in some job I hate, surrounded by a wife and kids, pushing 50, and feeling like I haven’t done anything with my life. Not that having a wife and kids and a job is a bad place to find yourself, it’s not. But all in due course. Call it whatever you like, but this definitely feels like some sort of quarter-life crisis. It’s time, I think, to get out some of the ideas that have been bouncing around my skull for the last four years. Time to travel a little bit. To focus on photography and writing and web development. To really give this life a fuckin’ go.

As always, it’s going to be a hell of a ride.